To Bi- kini or not to Bi-kini

It is a universally acknowledged truth that there are some who should and some who shouldn’t…

Here are a few pointers to settle this dilemma once and for all from your friendly Beach Bum’s guide to pleasure and fantasy :

if you eat anything more than one single lettuce leaf for lunch you are undoubtedly too voluptuous to even consider slipping into that winsome two piece

if you in any way resemble a folded ironing board when stood up then yes a bikini is probably for you..if you resemble the unfolded ironing board and/or basket of ironing then ..no

would two miniscule  triangles of fabric and a handkerchief make you feel overdressed …then a micro bikini is for you..if you are considering wearing the sails of a  seagoing yacht as a coverup then possibly not..

if your skin resembles in any way the leathery lustre of a Bottega veneta handbag or the tooled tile hide of a Komodo dragon ..think seriously about how good it will look set against the tiniest slip of smooth stretched fabric…

and the inky caress of a tatooists thrilling art might also look at odds with all that is swathed in sweaters in our normal climes…Beware oh beware the lures of the bold and the brilliant….the daring do of a mad moment in time ..so long , sarong …just do what makes you happy…

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