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Archive for the ‘lamb’ Category

winter2012 038It all started very innocently, if dramatically, by a mass breakout of the ram lambs (but not my favourites : Curly, Curly’s Brother or Wills), from the Little Field, through the thick spiny hedge, on to the main road. Alerted and aided by our favourite Jewsons delivery man, and concerned passers by, we managed to herd the rest of the misfits back into the field with copious amounts of sheeep food. By awesome detective work (wool on barbed wire)  we located the hole that they had made in the hedge and set about effecting repairs. The small ram lambs kept sidling back to see if they could escape again once our backs were turned but were easily shooed away once we had thrown hammers and sickles at them! But there lurked a far greater danger in waiting. An evil brown monster bent on trouble. Like a perverted dirty old man he ambled along the hedge line supposedly minding his own business but obviously pitching for a fight. Being shooed away was not in his game plan as he took the initiative to mount a full scale full on attack. This involved running at us full pelt with horns and knee breaking boulder sized thick head at the ready to do serious damage. Thank fully , Paul is not only a master gardener but fully versed in the wily arts of matedor cape swirling. (all learnt from Strictly Come Dancing ) and was able to deflect the onslaught by dexterous Barbour jacket moves which unnerved the ovine tornado bearing down upon us. A couple of passes and he managed to catch hold of his lethal horns and manhandle him unceremoniously to the ground and sit on him. So far so good but sitting on him was like sitting on an unexploded bomb as the heaving mass of testosterone fuelled muscle quivered in rage. To avoid counter attacks from the young bucks I managed to get them all into the garden field and then grabbed hold of a horn each and  dragged the fuming mass of machismo in with them.

Shaken but not stirred we carried on to check the ewes.

winter2012 039But dark clouds were brewing and it was only a matter of minutes before the boys (led by evil personified , Othello), had broken out of the field again and were up at the house garden looking for trouble. In fact looking for a dear old unsuspecting pensioner, Pat, my mum. Ignoring mum and her enticing bucket of food the devil incarnate knocked her to the ground and set about beating her up. Being a tough old farmers wife , mum managed to grab his horns and drag herself up and away from the battering to alert us to his antics.

Another sackful of sheep food and all were enticed back into their stronghold again.Field now only to be entered with armed bodyguard, cape and pitchfork. But the harsh future is writ large as the date for execution draws nigh .

winter2012 035 It was only later when we discovered what had happenend during his sex fuelled rape and pillage ploy as the poor old sheep sculptures will testify. Horribly abused by hooves and wilful uncontrolled lust they lay scattered and abused on the ground.

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Charge !

or When good animals turn bad !

This is a story about a very amenable and friendly ram (Othello) who turned into a monster ! in this case it isn’t jealousy so much as machismo that has made him into a horror. He is currently up in our top field with the girls doing his ram-ly thang and hopefully in due course his offspring will be the sweetest little lambs ever. But for now we have a problem, and unless one goes into his field armed with at least a suit of armour one is liable to be gored and unkindly treated. With his matador accoutrements in place , Paul is the only one who dares to enter the bullring for the next round of ram butting and aggression. And this is annoying as I cannot get into the field to pet all my favourite girls… having to content myself with the young ‘uns who are in a different field ; Barra’s Little Sister,Mask, and Chocolate.

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or new pin up boy

our new pin up boy

Othello has arrived ! He is our new young ram ! now here he is in the horsebox having tucked into a tasty portion of sheep nuts and an acre of hay before being put into our Long narrow Field with Curly, Curlys Brother and Wills (his new gang). Very friendly he can be lead around on a halter.I am looking forward to seeing what type of woolly lambs he will produce next spring ! he is a bit like a bar of cadburys milk chocolate !

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Now call me Bo Peep if you like, but last night sheep were just the best ! and not

Curly, Wills and Curly's Brother
Curly,Wills and Curly’s Brother

at all lost or wandering ! they were well behaved in their assigned field (for once)and very very pleased to see me . There are some new kids getting friendly (and friendly, Paul, means they dont get eaten right ?!) let me introduce you to the fearless and patchworked Mask . A gauky lamb from this year  with very long legs and the kind of sheep that would be a super model if she could. Then there is the cutest chunky Chocolat (said in french accent) and I am talking 75% colour of chocolate … she has the sharpest little hooves imaginable and gives you a very good hoof massage on the back ! the old faithfuls ,Birsay (tail wags like dog when stroked)and Barra (paws at you with her hoof for attention) are still wonderful and prima donnas to a tee  .. in fact the whole troupe will be featured in the very rare and hitherto unseen and untried art cinema for sheep entitled  “When Sheep Dare” .. which is to be filmed by Victoria on her forthcoming visit.watch this space ! It is incredible the social circles in which one moves when in deepest darkest sussex.

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british veg

British Veg

and not for giving a hoofy back massage ! Spot , our shetland lamb (boy) is getting very cheeky and finds it amusing to jump up on your back with his pointy little hooves. Result : a back massage with mini jimmy choos.. Now I don’t know about you,and I know people pay a lot for such administrations , but to my mind it is a pleasure too far !

Talking of pleasure…the  boys (Magnus the ram and his cohorts) escape ! into the garden this time for a rampage through what must seem like a giant salad bar of tasty oriental titbits. This happens in a downpour , the like of which has not been seen since Noah packed everyone up in an ark.After stomping around crossly and soggily we give up as dusk falls and we can’t even see the black Curly,Curly’s Brother and Wills , like black ninjas ,cavorting through the echinaceas.

This morning the evidence is all too obvious as we perceive that many of the big luscious grasses have sustained significant collateral damage. Paul is not too pleased. I am just relieved we have got them coralled again before our Dutch garden visitors arrive .Having Curly serve you with a slice of Victoria sponge would not be de rigeur ! tea cup mayhem !

talking of tea cups … watch this space for Robin’s new Driftline mad hatters tea cup sculpture which should be arriving soon ! anyone for tea vicar ?!

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nesting place for pied wagtail

nesting place for pied wagtail

honestly it is like a soap opera out  there… firstly Birsay  (last year lamb now obnoxiously precocious teenager) has taken an absolute fit of jealousy , green eyes et al , against the new little chocolate coloured lamb , Woolsey . She cannot abide me feeding the wee lamb with its bottle and would rather just give her a wee thump or boot her out of the way. Failing that her frustration now seems to be including me in the good thump for good measure too. I don’t blame her, she is all wound up with hormones I suppose (arent we all ) and the lambs can be pretty attention -taking -up-ful which means Birsay doesnt get her half an hours rub and cuddling… so you can understand that.So picture the scene .. me trying to feed lamb; Birsay behaving badly and Barra (another cosseted last year lamb)( its all coming back to haunt me these prima donna alpha females) pawing at me like a demented spanish bull… plus Dotty . Now Dotty is a lamb from last year who is gradually getting sort of friendly , but has this loopy looking slack jaw so she always looks a bit silly… and gormless..so thats another evening gone by the time i have given them all their due attention and eased myself out of the woolly mele.

Tonight we are on defcon one alert as frost is predicted… polytunnel has been battened down and the heat mat switched on for all the wee seedlings and bedding plants … pray for heat !

Plus today was “get all the tulips out of pots ad line out in cutting garden day “… now thwarted by pied wagtail living in this pot of tulips .. with nest full of hatchlings … they are all out to get me ! wildlife who would have it !

But the cutest thing is that whenWooldset is finished we all hunker down for a bit of stroking and then Birsay settles down as close as possible but with her legs all tucked up like a wonderful wooley ottoman. So stylish and “homes and garden-ish”… if youcould transport her back to the loundge she swould be the perfect foot rest.. so thick and warm…

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Lamb you like it !

The most wonderful thing about a lamb is its sheer bouncy springiness. All that coiled energy squeezed into such a tiny little frame.Well our Shetland lambs are small anyway but reduced down to lamb size they are miniature. Totally handbag sized ! You could just scoop them up and carry them away ! Today will just be nuttiness about lambs so bear with me !


Six more potential mums to go ! can we bear the suspense ?!

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