Posts Tagged ‘sheep’

winter2012 038It all started very innocently, if dramatically, by a mass breakout of the ram lambs (but not my favourites : Curly, Curly’s Brother or Wills), from the Little Field, through the thick spiny hedge, on to the main road. Alerted and aided by our favourite Jewsons delivery man, and concerned passers by, we managed to herd the rest of the misfits back into the field with copious amounts of sheeep food. By awesome detective work (wool on barbed wire)  we located the hole that they had made in the hedge and set about effecting repairs. The small ram lambs kept sidling back to see if they could escape again once our backs were turned but were easily shooed away once we had thrown hammers and sickles at them! But there lurked a far greater danger in waiting. An evil brown monster bent on trouble. Like a perverted dirty old man he ambled along the hedge line supposedly minding his own business but obviously pitching for a fight. Being shooed away was not in his game plan as he took the initiative to mount a full scale full on attack. This involved running at us full pelt with horns and knee breaking boulder sized thick head at the ready to do serious damage. Thank fully , Paul is not only a master gardener but fully versed in the wily arts of matedor cape swirling. (all learnt from Strictly Come Dancing ) and was able to deflect the onslaught by dexterous Barbour jacket moves which unnerved the ovine tornado bearing down upon us. A couple of passes and he managed to catch hold of his lethal horns and manhandle him unceremoniously to the ground and sit on him. So far so good but sitting on him was like sitting on an unexploded bomb as the heaving mass of testosterone fuelled muscle quivered in rage. To avoid counter attacks from the young bucks I managed to get them all into the garden field and then grabbed hold of a horn each and  dragged the fuming mass of machismo in with them.

Shaken but not stirred we carried on to check the ewes.

winter2012 039But dark clouds were brewing and it was only a matter of minutes before the boys (led by evil personified , Othello), had broken out of the field again and were up at the house garden looking for trouble. In fact looking for a dear old unsuspecting pensioner, Pat, my mum. Ignoring mum and her enticing bucket of food the devil incarnate knocked her to the ground and set about beating her up. Being a tough old farmers wife , mum managed to grab his horns and drag herself up and away from the battering to alert us to his antics.

Another sackful of sheep food and all were enticed back into their stronghold again.Field now only to be entered with armed bodyguard, cape and pitchfork. But the harsh future is writ large as the date for execution draws nigh .

winter2012 035 It was only later when we discovered what had happenend during his sex fuelled rape and pillage ploy as the poor old sheep sculptures will testify. Horribly abused by hooves and wilful uncontrolled lust they lay scattered and abused on the ground.

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or new pin up boy

our new pin up boy

Othello has arrived ! He is our new young ram ! now here he is in the horsebox having tucked into a tasty portion of sheep nuts and an acre of hay before being put into our Long narrow Field with Curly, Curlys Brother and Wills (his new gang). Very friendly he can be lead around on a halter.I am looking forward to seeing what type of woolly lambs he will produce next spring ! he is a bit like a bar of cadburys milk chocolate !

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Popping poppy

Poppies Popping out all over !

Recovering from trauma of being incarcerated in the poly tunnel this morning. Went in full of beans and came out broken !

Simple enough you would think to pick some innocent courgettes for the world famous courgette cake. The courgettes were there , just, I had thought there were lots more than there actually turned out to be .. but hey I had only preprepared all the other ingredients so was sort of committed at this point . Next thing I knew the door had slammed shut . Thinking nothing of it I collected up the courgettes and went to pull the wee string that lifts the latch from the outside .And it came off in my hand …several expletives followed which attracted the attention of the boy sheep . Curly , Curly’s brother and Wills made a beeline for the tunnel and very helpfully made a great show of doing very little constructive to help ,rather they seemed more inclined to push through the mesh sides of the thing ,which while that would have given me an escape route ,would not have enamoured them to Paul ,and would rather more certainly have sealed their fate, and meant a quick  ticket to the big white freezer box in the sky. As I found to my cost, polytunnels are not the worlds best repositaries of tools to use to escape from places .. luckily though I managed to concoct a strange pointy hook thing using some dodgy bits of wire , to reattach string to latch and thence freedom! and a whole heap of sheep demanding breakfast and trying to nab some tasty courgettes as hors d’oeuvres.Hope this is not an indication of the day to come …still got cream topping to get on to cake..and pistachios to chop ; in between scrambled eggs and bacon ?maybe not

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escaped again

Escaped again !

wake up to glorious morning of sunshine , standing at the window looking out on to the newly planted and growing perennial meadow, and the sheep calmly grazing on it and wandering across the drive … WHAT ? what are those sheep doing there ? it is the boys of course ..(Curly, Curly’s Brother, Wills ,Satan and Zebra) (bizarrely Magnus the ram is too much of a wimp and is back in the paddock bellowing his head off in frustration) (another dent to his manhood the big old pussycat)  and they have escaped again… and wrecking our new border… howls of rage ensue from Paul who threatens fire and brimstone on their heads and rushes out in his pants to get them off the new plants(munched stumps by now).. hope b and b guests still safely tucked up in bed rather than be party to this spectacle ! probably not as Paul bellows like a madman with a colourful scottish lexography to match ! imagine guests at the window thinking why are we staying in this place with these two mad people !! and how soon can we escape !thankfully manage to usher them all (the sheep rather than the guests !)back to the paddock with huge bucket of food and not too much pantomime. This was after showdown in the woods (Miss Pig and Mr Zebra I presume )en route with the pigs ,where Zebra and the pigs take an immediate and mutual dislike of each other and I fear for a dramatic pig breakout to further complicate the situation. Throw bucket of carrots to the pigs as early breakfast  and we can stand down to defcon 2 situation. Living on a knife edge with animals seems to be par for the course . Remind myself ,as limp back from wood/bramble/mud/pig wrestling that I am living the dream !

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there can be only one medal awarded this weekend and it will be a Gold medal to my wonderful uncle, Keith, who virtually single handedly sheared our whole flock of Shetland Sheep himself (sorry Jack , I  know you did Jean Brown !) on Saturday. Looking today at the bag full of glorious soft fleeces in all those stunning natural hues I can really appreciate all his hard work and sheer dogged determination to achiveve super hero status in the annals of Sussex prairie history ! Thankyou too to Linda his wife who worked so tirelessly with the other heroine, Pat my mum, in the tea shop !!

Magnus, photo by Charlotte Raven

Here is a brilliant photo of Magnus the ram , (taken by our wonderful friend Lottie) (still with his fleece on !)who succumbs to shearing with ill grace and a lot of under the breath swearing. His macho pysche is always sorely tried and we are treated to his unalloyed disdain and contempt for the whole business! when his fleece is off though he just looks pathetically small and his little sticklike legs are so gangly ! The shearing of the ewes provoked much more hysteria when the lambs couldnt recognise their shorn mums and spent hours trailing about like miserable snivelling orphans !

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Lamb you like it !

The most wonderful thing about a lamb is its sheer bouncy springiness. All that coiled energy squeezed into such a tiny little frame.Well our Shetland lambs are small anyway but reduced down to lamb size they are miniature. Totally handbag sized ! You could just scoop them up and carry them away ! Today will just be nuttiness about lambs so bear with me !

Six more potential mums to go ! can we bear the suspense ?!

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Barra, Bearsay and Dotty relaxing

Barra, Bearsay and Dotty relaxing

apologies to Samuel Beckett !

we are all waiting for the lambs to arrive (which hopefully they will ) silly numpties as we are ,we didn’t think about getting our girls (ewes) scanned, so it is all a mystery… and every day brings firstly excitement at imminent arrivals and then plummeting disappointment as nothing happens ..but there are other more predatory fellows waiting for the happy arrivals too…a big fox runs across our top field in broad daylight. §He is also keeping his eye on progress.That is a bit scarey.. crows also hanging about … its a minefield of danger !

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