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Posts Tagged ‘poo’

027not any old poo .. dog poo .

It is a rare garden that happily invites dogs and their owners into the garden together to share the space and an afternoon. I know this because I have a dog too. Vigo. Here he is above with our nephew ,Alastair.

And it is tricky to find attractions taking dogs and happy to do so. These gardens are rare because there are those that are creating wars and those that have to fight them. I am talking about Poo Wars and the victims are revolting.

 

IMG_8273There are a few issues involved in having a garden that welcomes dogs and does all it can to make this a good experience for one and all .And when we thought about doing this,  I thought -hold on- let’s provide dog waste bins for owners to dispose of the poop and for once, lets also provide the bags in which the aforementioned waste  can be collected.Simples ! which is exactly what we did.

IMG_8275It wasn’t difficult to do and now we have five bins spaced around the garden at suitable points allowing at any point in time for (a) a big dollop of poo to be picked up in a bag (supplied by us ) and (b) the squidgy package of poo to be deposited in the bin (c) jobby sorted. And you can simply walk away – with your dog !

So one would think that all our responsible dog owners would be able to cope with this . Sadly this seems not to be the case. Now … lets look at the facts ..

1. We ask for  dogs to be kept on a short  lead. You surely cannot miss your dog having a smelly moment near you -unless you are in a world apart, enjoying the view , talking about particle physics ,very short sighted or an idiot ,so what is so difficult about picking the shit up ?

2. it got me thinking .. why is it difficult to do this ? well it’s not the happiest of tasks of course .. picking up someone else’s shit is not the best thing in the world , smelly – yes,disgusting – could be – depends on the consistency of course.But it is YOUR dog and by implication YOUR shit

3.. if you were in your own garden would you leave all the shit  around for someone to stand in ? yes ? love the odour of fresh dog poo on the parquet ? crisp dog poo on the doormat ? killer shit on the kelim ? so why do it here ?

Come on folks ! shit happens so please deal with it !

 

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the main culprit

There is a place called Du Du. I saw it advertised on a rare traffic sign. But the sort of du du I want to talk about is the kind manufactured in copious quantities by the entire cow population of India as they wander to and fro through people’s lives,houses,rubbish tips and market places. The cow does many things and is a sacred beast granted. But it makes a prodigious amount of poo.Now I have discovered an ancient and  crazy art  which I believe is as yet unexplored and un tapped. Namely ,the fashionable and scary art of making solid poo  igloos . Chris Ofili the artist famed for working with elephant dung could learn a few tricks here. On the outskirts of every village /small holding/collection of huts/houses/plastic bag tents/grass wigwams there is the same thing : and it is beautiful.Imagine a solid block of poo crafted into a huge monolithic and dense sculpture . Entirely made of cattle dung (maybe goat and sheep too ?) it is dense,not smelly really (but everything is relative) and carved with simple and delicate patterns. Sitting like a dried out block of parmesan I wonder how you deal with it on a daily basis. Do you slice off cake like slices  for fire lighting ? do you hack off a chunk like a block of ice ? or is it just some crazy currency and the sort of hedge fund of rural life ? certainly its worth for gardening is high and a golden ingot like that would be much sought after by us gardeners for growing our bananas !

Gold dust

the cow pat scenario is much easier to get to grips with (unless it is wet,sticky and stuck to the bottom of your sandal) you can see these frisbee like things drying in the most unlikely of places but then why not ? these are the perfect firelighter of choice. Dry and crisply dehydrated you will see them stacked at crazy angles and in bonfire type heaps ready for action.Collection of said pats might be tricky one would think in the wet state, but with a blazing indian sun i guess you only have to wait a while until you can scoop it up and carry the dinner plate sized thing back to your treasury.

Firelighting cow pats ready for action

walking in any area of India is fraught with danger as you hopscotch between the poo.On my last trip i inadvertently got out of the car in a village and stood straight in an open sewer. Not an experience I would wish to repeat. The evil residue stubbornly refused to be washed or scraped off my shoes.This time it was the car itself that fell into a sewer. Driving quietly into the quaint little town of Bundi we were checking out the likely accommodation venues and suddenly the car lurched to one side and there was a hellish bang. Scrambling out of a car leaning perilously to one side it was obvious that the open sewer previously covered by an (insubstantial paving stone , had caved in and we were stuck in a rut ! the car tilted drunkenly into the filthy maw. Unspecified horrors floated by. Paul managed to commandeer  some wiry but slim indian onlookers  to help him manhandle the thing out. on dry land the car did not seem to have sustained any damage . Apart from a charming fragrance of course.

if i just stand here.....

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