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Archive for the ‘underwear’ Category

Bra- Drona at Cardrona, New Zealand

Bra- Drona at Cardrona, New Zealand

on a day when we have had sun,hail,snow and sun ….Vest is not a sexy word nor can its name be spake in this garden !

A lacey slip of a thing it could be considered a wonder garment of warmth and subtlety but the fact is we are looking for something a little more robust . We are searching for a solution to the age old problem of the gap of winter colly wobbles created when you bend and stretch and today we need something of strength and purpose to breach the gap between trouser top and achingly exposed back acreage.What will it be ? The Damart dance of destiny ? a sneaky peak through the small ads of shame and nicker pink thermolactyls ? what  to do as the prairie winds blow coolly this springtide?

 

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I have written about this topic before but find myself uncannily drawn back to a recurring theme. Pants and gardeners do not mix .And I find myself yearning for a good pair of Bridget Jones specials. The sort of practical Bear Grylls of the pant world.Pants that are heroic , devil may care, and dashingly rugged. Pants that would keep your back warm when digging a trench and not let your shirt ride up your back and expose your kidneys to a nasty southwester. Dont get me started on vests ! I want one !

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air on a g string

Air on a G String

now all those wonderful gardening programmes you see on tv , all the Alans and the Montys and the Carol Kleins never talk about the right type of underwear for gardening do they ? the crucial stuff , the getting practical sort of things we should know and could really use. Now I don’t know know about you ,but this whole thong thing is not on .. not when you are bending down over a border doing a bit of light hearted weeding in a wind from at least the siberian steppes. Those pants are just pants  in such extreme conditions! and just do not cut the mustard ! or the edges ! they are too flimsey , too cut you in  half,too little for too much (in my case) especially after the summer season of victoria sponge and cake delights ! now I’m not saying they cannot be a little bit intriguing,lacey,even a bit racey,everyone likes to feel special , but the bottom line is they still need to hold it all together ! and talking about builder’s bum, no one wants to see a gardener’s bum either. So Agent Provocateur, Victorias Secret ,we salute you, Marks and Spencer: the knicker drawer of fame could be yours but just get me a comfortable and sexy pair of pants and throw those faintly ridiculous thongs on the compost heap !

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