a very short piece , because I have found a wonderful pair of button fly jeans in my loft which actually fit ! this is cause for celebration .After a winter of obviously slothful inactivity (how is that true ?) (but the contours of my bottom speak volumes !) I repair to the loft to peruse my summer wardrobe and after clothes have been tossed aside in disgust , despair and downright fury I am pleased to discover a treasure trove of jeans.. well ,one pair ,which are a delight to pull on.. until .. oh no the devilsome button fly reveals itself . Now , being of gardening stock I spend most of my time either in gloves or nursing hands tattered and torn and fingers cracked in their corners, so fumbling with a meddlesome persnickety button fly is agony .. made more so if the situation is a desperate one .Whoever invented the zip .. you should be immortalised !
Now on the hunt for another pair which when I lower myself into a bath of bubbles and Radox miraculously mould to fit that ample a*** and like the immortal Nick Kamen (and to strains of I heard it through the grapevine) I arise like a phoenix reborn with my slinky new self all be-jeaned and be-jazzled .. but enough about intimate piercings for now !
….and Bee Jeezus!!
Why did you buy flybutton jeans whenever it was you bought them?? Never ever ever been tempted! Elasticated waists is still in the future though 🙂
Your next move is Velcro fixing on your shoes, its the future!
the future is bright , the future is a ghastly shade of grey
Maybe your Mum could replace the buttons with a zipp, she is very handy with a sewing machine!!?
funnily enough .. not got used to them and can do them up with or without gloves ! how many times have I had my surgeons potting gloves caught in a zip !!
Oh, you poor thing and the button fly jeans, but I have the solution!!. I require 2.5 stone to expand my rear portion – so lets have a a transfer session from you to me and hay presto my zip jeans will stay up and you will be able to be buttoned up (I hope!) – the other option is to procure some corsets!! RON
Ron, you can willingly have all the spare portion of my bottom and more besides… there is plenty going spare but am hoping with my new resolution, “no cakes for me for summer” ,I may manage to reassess the wardrobe in the loft with a sparkle in my eye !
Haha.. very funny….dungerees are back in fashion lol 😉
I would like to add a tip for those battered hands of yours.
Boots sell a very good salt scrub by Sanctuary Spa Covent Garden, it literally returns my hands back to normal each time I use it. Afterwards I use the Body Shop, hemp barrier cream and try and remember to use it after each hand wash. My hands used to feel as rough as a cheese grater!
Jo
my memory of dungarees is not a glorious one , verging on the jump/romper suit and a helluva lot more unflattering .. think i’ll stick to the jeans and do a bit of papmpering of my hands ! too tired to normally remember at night though !